Thoughts while creasing my pillow

In this quagmire we call life what are really searching for, a question asked by every person who lives long enough to really grasp how vast the world, knowledge, science, GOD is.

Each of us are trying to just get through today, make the best of it, catch a few laughs along the way, if we are lucky get to spend some of our day with someone we love. But in the dead of night when we go to bed and create creases along our pillows, we are essentially alone with our thoughts and it is then that we (well I do anyway) contemplate what we are really trying to find, attain or learn.

As a person who loves learning new things I hope it is to acquire a clearer perception of the patterns that happen in my environments i.e. socialistically, scientifically and in my beliefs. In the Christian belief (as far as I humbly see) it is to see all of his works and truly understand the magnificence of them and thus worship GOD.

Personally I am not a fan of reading the bible ( I know ,I know, the shame) but I really find the way it is written slow and most of it is reiteration of the same concepts in different forms i.e. Love everyone and all that that entails(hard one, that one). Personally I am more for getting through the day and be able to say at the end of it that I lived it with honor and that the world (ok the tiny spectrum of my world for now) is a little better because I got up this morning.

I want to know the real purpose of this experience we call life is? Is it a learning camp for something? If so why are people put in such different camps i.e. the daughter of a billionaire or the son of starving Ethiopian refuge. These two examples will have very different perceptions of life and it’s meaning if you were to ask them why they were given life what would there answer be, and which do you think is most grateful for each breath.

Personally I’m very thankful for my life and that I have the capacity to see the magnificence of the design of the world around me from the way the human physiology works to the ubiquitous Fibonacci numbers. But still I lie there making creases wondering why? Really what is the end purpose? Why this methodology of such vastly different lives?

Why does is it take so many generations to learn how truly intricate each aspect of our universe is. Why do I get to know things that a hundred years ago was not even dreamt of and of course the opposite being true of why don’t I get to know what will be common knowledge in a hundred years. Well maybe we aren’t meant to know as I have heard so many people say but I find that so excruciatingly frustrating but then we are a young species with such little knowledge of our world and terrible responsibility with it so I guess God is saying “I’ll tell you when your older son”.